his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
