Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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