life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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