Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
