Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You are a genius and a whore.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
