it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yo dont text me then not text me
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize