I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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