I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
