Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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