I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
