we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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