I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
