We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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