when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
