is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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