I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
we should paint friendship bongs
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