I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
