why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
