I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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