fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Your cock deserves a montage
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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