Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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