It's Friday. Sex?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
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