you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
