I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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