i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize