We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
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