So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
