I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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