When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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