Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize