I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
