no. you can't hotbox the world.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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