I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
