Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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