the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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