But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
