Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
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We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
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I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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