There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
