your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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