Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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