I feel great
I just peed on a car
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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