He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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