I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
