Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
