Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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