i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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