WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
