There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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