Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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