How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
