I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
