I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
