I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
