party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize