i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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