He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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