Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize