I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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