I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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